Movie Review: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

source: IMDb

source: IMDb

Well, at least it was original, and what a surprise spin of one of Grimm’s fairy tales with two greedy kids with sweet teeth, a house made of candies, and a cannibal witch.  Like Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) this was also an adapted fairytale.

The beginning was great, two kids save their own lives and kill the witch. Many years passed, they are grown and now witch hunters. The town they born in is still haunted by witches (original idea… we have seen enough vampires and werewolves, haven’t we?), and they are there to help the town to recover kids that have been stolen. Yes, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) so proud and fierce come to town, they quickly fall apart before more body parts falling apart. Lucky that they must have plastic bones, cause there were a lot of fatal falls, but they would just spring back and dust off and carry on with business… It’s a fantasy film, I will let that go.

Muriel(Famke Janssen) is the witch of all witches, woody and black, she is called the GBW (Grand Black Witch) and of course, you guess it, there is also a GWW! There was one scene, for a second, made me think that I was watching Hocus Pocus (1993) : way more fun.

It’s 2013, blood, gores and guns rule. Head crushing, exploding, chopping are all games! The ammo and artillery looked very modern though, but I will let that go too.

It was enjoyable the beginning and the end, but the middle was deflating with the added love interest of Mina(Pihla Viitala) ( I thought Count Dracula will show up as well) and Hansel (flesh scene ), and the warm-hearted Edward the Troll (Derek Mears) with Gretel. Add and subtract, the actions were quite good, and I wish there were more matrix-ish shots…

WATCH… this is one that you can txt and surf the web while watching, I did.

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