All over the place. I could not really figure out how to watch this? Was it a fictional story mixed with historical facts? or with supernatural magic? Was it a comedy? I knew it was a remake of a TV show that most I remembered was its theme song, and the looks its two main characters. I was way too young to remember any of the episodes… Hence, I was really wondering the demographics Disney was aiming for? The obvious was Disney, young kids. The problem was I doubt there were anything fun, even, for the kids?
To draw in a kid audience, the opening scene has Will(Mason Cook) at a museum looking at a display of an ancient Indian, who turns out to be Tonto(Johnny Depp), who comes alive and tells the tales of what happened to him: the story. So the story goes back to the time of explorers, native lands, exploitations, the unlawful Wide West, sheriff, rangers, brothel, etc. within that, building of a new railroad for trades, Chinese immigrants, precious metals seeking, etc.
John Reid (Lone Ranger)(Armie Hammer) is a lawyer gets caught in a train runaway that involves cannibal Butch Cavendish(William Fichtner), and Tonto, both captive in one of the carts. Cavendish’s gang raids the train and set their leader free. That starts the journey between Tonto and John for at least 3/4 of the whole film. The 3/4 was long and drawn out IMO, cause it wanted to include some loose historical facts into the film; perhaps, it was to entice and educate the young mind, being Disney, about Native Indian, their lands, and how settlers took over for their capitalistic ambitious. “What does White men fight for?”, exclaims Tonto, perhaps summarised the moral of the story.
I was awake when Red Harrington(Helena Bonham Carter), the madam of her brothel, with her infamous ivory leg, filled the screen. Nonetheless, those were brief moments before I went back to a slumber until the film hit the last 15 minutes mark: the grand finale.
Even Depp could not save this!
SKIP … I am not sure who wants to see this? perhaps, your three-year-0ld, just about the same age I saw it on my black and white box…and all I cared then was the theme song and the opening scene of masked Lone Ranger in his galloping White Spirit! So is now.