Movie Review: 300: Rise of an Empire(2014)



“You fight as hard as you f**k!”. How could anyone resist a film that gave such bold a line? On top, completed with scene of hungry sexual gazes of two enemies in their sword embrace, while caring less of  their wounds, nor oozing salty crimson blood. All they cared was their clandestine  polar desire to f**k again and again! Such glory, such determination, such anger, and such vengeance.

She was a cold-hearted woman warrior that had carried man’s heads like slaughtered chicken in both hands to earn  her King’s admiration. He was a General commandeered  hundreds of half-naked, pumped chests, thick biceps, sculpted six-pack Adonis and Hercules: farmers and trademen to be accurate.

On first victory the General was sent to negotiate, but he would not, nor would he surrender to his adversary’s power. Instead  his hard muscle body would make her flush with boiling blood, which encouraged him to penetrate her humid dark, now ajar, secret passage. Suddenly, her tight thighs grip met with his hard rod punches that drove her hard up against the wall, like a naked painting enduring an intense earthquake tremor; they were deadlocked in their gazes. Finally, he pulled and she pushed; her quick blade was now against his pulsating jugular… She was the Persian warrior Artemisia(Eva Green) and he, the democratic Athenian crusader, Themistocles(Sullivan Stapleton), who wanted to unite Greece.

I wish there were more of those scenes between Artemisia and Themistocles, cause those were definitely laughable, sexy, and yet interestingly: passionate . The rest was a bit repetitive after a while: half-naked men killed black suited men, splash, splash, and vice versa, but they were, nonetheless, artistically presented, and really quite pretty to look at. In fact, I say those fighting scenes were above par compare to the original 300 (2006).

Xerxes(Rodrigo Santoro) most of the time was like Charlize Theron in her Dior commercial where she dressed in a gold shimmering floor drop gown promoting J’adore, the perfume. Although a background story was given as to how he became God-King, it was forgotten as quick as he exited a therapeutic pool filled with melted gold that rivaled similar exit of Angelina Jolie‘s Grendel’s Mother in Beowulf. His fight scenes: the same, swing of arm with something like a double-headed francisque, and a big roar! 

Lena Headey resumed the role of Queen Grogo, the Queen of Sparta with very little screen time.

Stapleton’s physique  was no where close to Butler‘s, but I don’t think he needed to, cause Spartans were elite warriors, and Themistocles was not one of them. I didn’t know who Stapleton was, but it didn’t matter, he was charismatic and photogenic with nice eyes and complementing beard. Another handsome Aussie I bet we will see more of! 

Overall I quite like this because of the actions sequences, and talking about those piercing eyes of Eva Green, they were so ready to beam out gamma ray to kill all men in the film, if that happened, us poor audience would sure have been collateral damage. They were that powerful, LOL! 

WATCH…treat this on its own. Don’t compare and you will enjoy it. I sure did!


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