Movie Review: Magic Mike XXL (2015)

source: IMDb

source: IMDb

If your man says, “let’s watch this…” Seriously, ask him why?! There is no way any straight guys will want to watch this film, however much he likes or loves you. Honestly, even gay men will likely pass on this one. It means, this is a 100% pure entertainment for ladies only. And it’s OK, nothing’s wrong with that.

The story was… there’s none. Loosely following Mike(Channing Tatum) retired from his “dancing” career, he is now a custom furniture designer. He has one employee, but business is tough, and he doesn’t even have enough to provide health benefits… One day, he got a call saying Dallas (Matthew McConaughey) is dead, and told where the funeral will be, etc. When he arrives, it’s a pool party, he knows he has been punk’d. Then he sees his old gang and rekindles: f**k, s**t, bro, man, love you, I am not gay, love you man… that summarised (if you get bored, you can count how many times they say those words) the first half of the film when they take on the road for a “convention”. Yes, Dallas, apparently he took his acts to Macau. (no point for McConaughey to resume after winning an Oscar!)

Liken The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994)’s road trip, but with forgettable dialogues, the bus takes them to their first stop :gay drag bar. For their coming-back’s warm up, they compete with other gay contestants for $100 being the best drag dancer?! Really…

Then, the bus breaks down, and they end up at a private club, where Mike worked when he first started out. The owner is Rome (Jada Pinkett Smith), and she treats all her clients like queens. What she runs is usually the upstairs of a typical strip club, except hers doesn’t have private booths, it’s communal, where groups can join in, cheers, and throw as much money as they want onto the dancers…same rule applies, ladies, dancer touches client hands-off.

Why go to Rome?: Mike’s comeback! and a weak love closure plot. While Rome is whooshing here and there, being a sultry hostess and her boys wiggling and pumping, the group looks on like dumbasses, clapping.

Finally they get to the convention. Guess what, Elizabeth Banks‘s Paris (Rome, Paris, … got it?) is one of the organizers. Is Banks the official MC for all films?: Pitch PerfectThe Hunger Games, and Magic Mike XXL

Finally I got it, Magic Mike XXL is competing with the same audience as Pitch Perfect 2 this summer: 18-30 young ladies. And not to ignore their moms, Nancy Davidson (Andie MacDowell) was added with a bunch of her friends – representing the middle-aged women – who were sexually frustrated and drank wines(Desperate Housewives?).

Rewind: Nancy is a true Southerner with heavy accent meets the group in her Tara, and showers them with hospitality. She declares she only has have one penis, her ex, in her life up to that point, but that obviously is going to change. She is the glass slipper that will fit: Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello). 

SKIP, SKIP, SKIP…period. I wish I could un-watch it.

 

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